we are all in the gutter but some of us are looking at the stars.

I can't even think of good titles anymore.
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It was supposed to thunderstorm today and it's not, which is somewhat upsetting.
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Well, I gotta go pull out the highwaisted shorts and band tanks for the family dinner tonnight.
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Bye poly-lovers. ♡
 

4:17 P.M.

I don't even know why I go on here anymore. It's not like anyone is on here anymore.
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Well. Dance last night, and it was actually pretty fun but. You know me, I've got complaints like always.
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K: Seriously? Like you didn't even know anyone till a few months ago and now you act like you're all super cool or something. Like stop. I'm always there for you and you're just always acting like you don't appreciate me.
 
T: You think if you're exactly like your certain best friend you'll be "popular" yeah honey I don't ever remember a time where a stuck up biitch was ever the cool girl. Stop faking.
 
N: Everything's so awkward. And I know it's cause you're not even willing to try to be my friend.
 
M: Idk if you hate me or what. I don't hate you. I just get annoyed with the fact that like, you talk shitt about everyone and yet somehow you're "popular" like how and why did that happen?
 
K&T: Together you two. Omg. So annoying I can't even handle it.
 
A: You bitchh to me about hating everyone and not liking people and then you hang out with them and act like I don't exist?
 
I'm done with people. I can't believe I still have years worth of time left with them.I like cannot do it at this point. Whoooo. I think I might not swim next year cause of certain girls.
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Peace.
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3:04 P.M.

Wow. I cannot believe freshman year is already almost over. It's crazy. And sometimes now that I think about it? I have no idea how I've made it through without any severe mental illness haha. It's been one crazy ride. Some of it I just wanted out. Other times I never wanted anything to end. I've really discovered myself. Through quotes, music, and literature. I've met some amazing people, and some other people that were not so amazing. I've fallen in love with the beauty of some, and died inside from the ugliness of others. I've lied, I've cheated, I've made some bad decisions. I've lost some friends, I've gained some. Sometimes I look back to even a month or so ago and wonder how I was such an idiot. Some people that I've lose or let go of this year, I really haven't cared cause I've realized they were nothing and they were only hindering me in my efforts to become the best person that I could be. There were many nights of tears, or butterflies, smiling and laughing, or anger and fights. But all those nights or days or weeks or even months have shaped me to become the more aware person that I am. Maybe I'm just an intellectual wallflower? Maybe that's it. It's funny, I hit highschool and I'm more content to watch and observe the stupidity or genius of individuals. I've really bonded with my family and that's made my life all the better. I've gotten better about losing my friend last year, and I've gotten over my "sadness" or "funk" or "winter blues" whatever you want to call it. Either way, I'm truly happy. Sometimes people still hinder that, but I've gotten less sensitive about it. Some people still really bother me. All those twig bitcch "popular" girls who pretend to love everyone but only like one person actually. They're the liars and the true sluttts and wannabes. They're the ones who start the rumors about others that they dislike, they're the ones who prey on others and then turn around and act like it wasn't their fault. They're the cruel, heartless ones who care about you if it benefits them, and are constantly swayed by their "popular" best friends. I laugh though, or at least try to because those girls? Won't be anybodies once they get out of college. They'll be the girls who become hardcore druggies or drinkers or whores so they can "live" their life or so that they can try to stay "popular" and they'll just ruin their already pathetic lives. And you know what? I'm fine with that. Karma is a great revenge tactic so there. I've been let down and lifted up all this year, and even though months of it were horrible and I wanted to leave school, I'm kinda glad it all happened. Because now I can look back and know how not to act and what not to do. I miss lots of people. Girls who became obssesed with being popular, guys who just wanted to be cool and try to get the sluttyy girls. It's fun to change and watch others change, but not when they change to be someone stupid.

yeah yeah yeah.

Lana is beautiful. Favorite song in the world. Enjoy the collection my darling poly-followers. I know you tend to like the items. Much love to all.
 
8:15 P.M. and I am happy.

whaddup.
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I miss nat more than anything. But then again, I don't even know who she is anymore. She's going to lose herself soon. Just wait.
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3:15 P.M. and I am so much better.

i really wonder about things sometimes.